JESUS BY HER SIDE
Alone is a feeling Emily Crocker never has to experience again. Since she found Christ during her freshman year at 鶹Ƶ, she now sees God in everything.
"He's not just in the Bible. He's everywhere. He's in the people I'm around, and I feel His presence constantly."
There was a time when she didn't.
"I was in such a dark place, and I just felt so alone," Emily said. "I didn't really have very many friends, and the ones I did have drove me to get caught up in the drama, and that pushed me into being really anxious and depressed. I felt so alone, and when things would happen, I blamed God, like it was His fault."
Emily believed there was a God, but she didn't grow up going to church regularly and didn't know much about Him. She's thankful all of that changed after coming to 鶹Ƶ, where she found God everywhere—in church, her classes and Revival.
Emily looks back now and can see how God laid out a plan for her to come to 鶹Ƶ. It all started on the many trips she took with her parents from Cedar Park to Waco to visit her grandparents—passing the green highway sign on I35 for the turnoff to the "University of Mary Hardin-Baylor." One afternoon during her senior year, Emily's mom, who had gone to Baylor University, announced they were going to stop for a visit to check out 鶹Ƶ. Emily protested. She knew nothing about this "little school in Belton" and wasn't interested in stopping. But her mom insisted, and the second they arrived on campus, Emily liked what she saw.
"This is my school," she announced. "This is where I'm supposed to be!"
When she arrived, she and her roommates went "church hopping," and she soon landed at Vista Community Church, which she attended every Sunday. She also fell in love with her Old Testament classes.
"All the stories were so interesting, and I wanted to learn more," she realized. She and her roommates often met with 鶹Ƶ Chaplain Jason Palmer to bombard him with their questions about scripture and get suggestions on reading passages. "It was overwhelming. I kept thinking, 'Wow, this is amazing! Where has this been my entire life?'" she said. "It really opened my eyes to see the world completely differently."
After attending church regularly during her first semester and then experiencing 鶹Ƶ Revival her second semester, she knew there was no going back.
"I thought it was so amazing. There was no way I could go back to how I was before. This is going to be how I'm living now. I have to have this relationship! It was just eye-opening to realize I'm not alone."
Her moment of conviction came one morning while sitting in church when she finally realized everyone goes through hardships, but she didn't have to be alone during hers. With tears pouring down her face, she knew she was "finally not alone."
"'I can grow from these hard times and be strong from this with the help of Christ,'" she remembers thinking.
On a Sunday soon after, Chaplain Palmer baptized Emily during a morning service at her church.
She realized admitting she needed Christ in her life wasn't something to be ashamed of and wanted to share her love for Him with everyone.
Emily, now a junior exercise and sport science major, is thankful her mom convinced her to detour off I35 that day to check out the campus where she now has good friends and enjoys the activities and traditions, especially Easter Pageant which brings up overwhelming feelings about how she felt about God.
"I can never be in the Easter Pageant. I can't. I've already been there where the crowd is yelling and cursing at Jesus and saying all these terrible things to Him while He is on the cross. I've already said all of those things, and I can never go back and do that again."